Finding Fulfillment Now - You're Not Going to Find it Tomorrow!
Updated: Jan 3
It's that time again... when the voice inside says,
"Let's start fresh; let's be healthy; let's be happy; let's be powerful, beautiful, and strong; let's eat right, exercise, meditate more, be kinder to others and the environment, let's be the best I can be!"
So we listen, and we set goals.
We search out that which will give us what we desire: a better job, the perfect partner, a healthy body... You know the list. You make it almost every year.
I challenge you to put some power behind the New Year ritual this year.
Instead of setting goals that most likely will fade like the melting snow in spring, discover a sense of fulfillment and be a more peaceful, joyful you right now! I'm writing to you today to introduce you to an ancient yet seemingly new concept. It's called the MOMENT! Yes, right now, can you feel it? This word, and this word, and this one...
In order to arrive in the moment, let's first explore where we believe fulfillment comes from.
Can Happiness Really Be Found in Things?
The problem is we believe that fulfillment comes from things that will make us happy that are outside of ourselves, like that cruise in the Mediterranean, a fulfilling relationship, a new car, yoga butt.
I’m not saying that when you are on that cruise, you will not feel happy, but what if an illness sweeps through the ship and you are quarantined to your room? Do you feel happy then?
Can you see how it is very limiting to depend on the external world showing up in a specific way in order to feel happy and fulfilled?
Let’s dare to venture back to the last time you got something you really wanted. For example, a chocolate mint chip ice cream cone or any flavor you love.
If you decided to cherish that ice cream by staring at and admiring it, eventually, it would have melted, and you would be left with a sticky hand. If you decided to eat it, eventually, it would be gone, leaving you with an empty inner stomach and a bigger outer stomach.
So what you thought would bring you happiness disappears either way with the potential of guilt for going off your diet. What if I told you there was a way to eat that ice cream and feel fulfilled before, during, and after? Would you like to know how?
Most likely, you have already said, “Yes! Of course.”
However, you already know that way. It has been with you your whole life, and for some reason, you are not using it.
Does that mean you don’t really want to be happy? No, it just means that you are confused about what truly makes you happy.
You are what makes you happy, plain and simple.
When we change our view of what makes us happy, when we flip it upside down, we realize that happiness comes from within us. Therefore, any activity or thing can fill us full so we feel fulfilled.
It may sound impossible, but vacuuming the floor can bring just as much joy as sunbathing on the beach with the ocean waves singing their lullaby.
How to Feel Fulfillment
I gave the answer to this one away. When you focus on what is happening in the present moment, you are filled full with it.
When you focus on sadness, you will be filled by it. When you focus on happiness, you will be filled by it.
Sounds simple, right? Yet, in this modern era, we shift our attention as quickly as a bee flies from one flower to the other. But without the reward of sweet honey at the end because we have been collecting fleeting moments of happiness that do not last.
How about trying this: focus on nothing…
Yes, you heard me correctly. If happiness turns into sadness in the blink of an eye, why not focus on the space in between and behind those two opposites?
That space is peaceful and consistent. It is always there, or you would not recognize the duality of happy and sad.
Be filled full by an open spaciousness that knows no boundaries, no limitations, and remains steady when there is happiness and sadness.
The easiest way I have learned to focus on nothing is through the use of my breath.
Begin to notice the natural flow of your breath. No need to change its rhythm.
Feel the sensations that expand as you inhale and release as you exhale.
Repeat for several breaths.
Now, notice the pause at the top of each inhale. Be with the stillness and quiet of the pause, and then notice how the exhalation arises out of that stillness.
Notice the pause at the bottom of each exhalation. Observe how everything releases into stillness and silence.
Continue to breathe in your natural rhythm for as many more breaths as feels natural and relaxing for you. Be sure to observe those pauses.
If you notice an increase in thoughts or anxiety as you breathe, either stop the technique or refocus your attention on the breaths and pauses instead of the thoughts. The rhythm of your breathing will change depending on how at ease you feel.
Just like trying anything new, this takes practice for it to feel natural. As you give your time and attention to this technique, you will begin to notice yourself resting in the stillness of the pauses in between your breath more and more.
Don’t take my word for it, please! Try it out for yourself.
The Power of the Pause
There is a sense of calm, harmony, dare I say happiness that is present in the stillness of the pause. A happiness that comes from beyond what you think about it.
This stillness is inherent within you right now. Otherwise, the breath could not emerge from it and then return back to it.
You will discover yourself feeling happier under more situations as you learn to live from that still center.
The way to do this is by embracing the pauses in your life. You can start by embracing the pause in between your next breath.
Conclusion
So happiness is not found by taking in external things like an ice cream or a Porsche.
It's not found when you exhale all the things you think you do not like out of your life. Consider the last time you broke up with someone or quit a job. That moment of relief was eventually followed by the longing for something else to fill that void.
Instead of seeking your happiness outside yourself, try turning your attention in the opposite direction, within yourself. We are told by those who have gone before us that if you practice this simple technique with an open, true heart, the gift of pure joy will be yours. And this gift didn't necessarily come on January 1st or after dieting for two months, and it takes a very short period of time.
This gift arrived right on time, or beyond time if you will, NOW in the MOMENT.
Fulfillment comes from within you and is happening right now, so enjoy and live your life in joy.
In Loving Service,
Heather Indu Arena
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